Tips for Ladies in 2008

1. Aspire to be Barbie — the bitch has everything.
2. If the shoe fits, buy one in every color.
3. Take life with a pinch of salt…a wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.
4. In need of a support group? Cocktail hour with the girls!
5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I’m on it and so far I’ve lost 15 days).
6. When life gets you down, just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no menopause and this is just your personality.
8. I know I’m in my own little world, but it’s ok. They know me here…
9. Lead me not into temptation; I can find it myself.
10. Don’t get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny.
11. When life gives you lemons in 2008, turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.
12. Remember: Every good looking, sweet, single male is someone else’s ex-boyfriend!

Tags: funny